Sigfried and Roy finish their run

The story about Sigfried and Roy's final show in Las Vegas caught my attention in today's newspaper. Apparently, the illusionists got together for a final Vegas show with Roy Horn appearing in a skeletal metal mask to hide his face, which had disfigured when it was gnawed upon like a rawhide by a Bengal tiger. The duo illusionists with the questionable sexuality took the stage for a final show -- and they brought the tiger that ate half of Roy.

I had read that during that fateful performance in Oct. 2003, that much of the audience stayed in their seats after the attack. Presumably, they either thought that the attack was schtick or that they had paid for a 90-minute show and were damn-well going to get another 45 minutes of entertainment -- mauling or not. I don't know if those 2003 attendees were given rain checks for this weekends performance but I hope not.

During an aftershow party, the duo had a rather interesting comment regarding their ill-fated previous show. Keep in mind that during the 2003 attack, the tiger sank its teeth into Horn's neck, dragging him offstage. Roy was partially paralyzed, suffered a damaged neck artery and crushed windpipe.

The pair said that they believe Montecore (the man-eating tiger) sensed that Horn was having a mini-stroke and was dragging him to safety, rather than attacking him.

Animal experts and the rest of the world have disputed that theory.

I guess if everyone is pissed off it must be good

A wise man once told me -- actually I'm pretty sure that it was a TV show that I was watching -- that if a deal makes both parties upset it must be a pretty good deal. Maybe that goes for the budget that President Obama is trying to pass. Well my friends who are above the $250K marker are going to be pissed (I'm not crying though) and now it appears that our rural neighbors are miffed as well.

I'm not anti-farmer, and I have nothing against the people who live in rural areas. In fact I sincerely realize that there is a need for people to grow vegetables and fruits without dangerous chemicals that grow cancer inside us. I also recognize that there are legitimate subsidies that the government (local and federal) provide to independent farmers so that they can be competitive financially. That said we're looking for a serious shift in the way things are done in Washington (and around the nation) for that matter. So, the elimination of rubber stamp subsidies for farmers to not grow certain crops and subsidizing insurance is going to come to an end.

Members of both parties are mad that the gravy train is coming to an end. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack said that farmers should be thinking about developing other sources of income (read green fuels like solar and wind power) rather than direct payments from the federal government.

"I have real concerns about this administration's position on eliminating direct payments to our producers, which would be detrimental to their livelihoods," said Rep. Frank Lucas, Oklahoma.

Lucas, for those who want to bash the dems as being the only party in favor of subsidies, was voted into office as a member of Lincoln's party.

The permanent sleeper

Famed pro wrestler Verne Gagne, the father of my beloved AWA, was apparently involved in a death by pile driver last week. A man, who was living in the same assisted living facility as Gagne, died of complications from one of Gagne’s wrestling moves.

According to local media sources, the geriatric grappler has been battling dementia and Alzheimer’s for the past couple years. While in this state, he’s been relegated to an assisted living community in Bloomington. At the facility, Gagne’s hallucinations have apparently involved titanic matches against The Mad Dog and The Crusher. He was removed from the facility for body slamming a patient and applying a choke hold on another, but despite this he somehow was able to return to the facility. The most recent Gagne outburst proved fatal, however.

He had a history with the patient. According to one account, he had applied the Gagne sleeper on this 97-year-old before workers were able to extract the former heavyweight champion. No one knows what provoked the most-recent incident, and Gagne is not expected to be charged with any crime.

After reading about Gagne’s dementia, I was thinking back to the time I was covering a football game from the Metrodome press box when then-Governor Ventura took an open seat next to me to watch the game. The former member of the East-West Connection had a bout of uncontrollable shaking while sitting there and I remember being unnerved by his behavior. I suppose that even though those turnbuckles are padded, the physical toll those guys took was considerable.

I’ll have to remember next time I saddle up next to Jumping Jimmy Brunzell at the counter of Al’s Breakfast to be polite when asking for the salt. I wouldn’t want a flying dropkick to the sternum.

The Gophers go meekly down their hole

After starting the season with a 7-1 record, the rest of the Big 10 Conference caught up with the University of Minnesota and the Gophers were summarily dismissed in their final four games of the season to finish at 7-5. I, unfortunately, was on hand for all four of those beat-downs, including last Saturday's inexplicable 55-0 loss to Iowa.

The stakes were there for the Goofs: The last game of the year. A trophy game. A border rival. A chance to rebound from a disappointing loss to Wisconsin. All this and the lads didn't show up. The defense, which certainly wasn't good, held up at least early. It was the offense that was horrible down the stretch for the second year in a row. I understand that the loss of Eric Decker due to a myriad of injuries (shoulder, ribs and ankle) played a significant part in their ineptitude, there is no way that this team should have struggled the way that they did. Like the Michigan game, this team had less than three first downs at halftime. That's embarrassing. Weber regressed for the second straight season and there has to be major questions about his ability to lead a team to the first division of a now-mediocre conference. Coach Tim Brewster admitted that his team needs to do more weight training before next season in order to compete along the lines, but why wasn't that apparent before the season. Did weight lifting just recently become popular?

Defensively, they need better athletes at linebacker. Lee Campbell and Deon Hightower were decent players early in the season but when other teams had the tape on them, and saw what they could do to the Gophers' defense when they got those players in space -- they were done with. The d-backs were certainly an improvement from last year, but in this conference the games are won up-front. That needs to be addressed.

Saturday's game against the Hawks was over by halftime and we took our leave to head to a local watering hole where several Jameson drinks took off the edge. Apparently it didn't to a number of Hawkeye fans who were up for the weekend. Apparently everyone in Iowa comes from a wrestling background because my diminutive friend (5-6, 150 pounds) was challenged a couple of fights. Meanwhile back at the Metrodome, things were even crazier.

According to the Star-Tribune, a pair of drunk Hawkeye fans were arrested for having sexual relations in one of the handicapped stalls of the Dome (what's the deal with lavatory sex in the Twin Cities). According to the story, there was a crowd of cheering fans encouraging the behavior from outside the stall. Police came and arrested the couple and -- get this -- released the man to his girlfriend and the woman to her husband. How do you suppose that car drive home went?

Tough Chick

Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked on her arm
Nov 5 03:27 PM US/Eastern


PRESCOTT, Ariz. (AP) - With a fox locked onto her arm, an Arizona jogger ran a mile to her car, where she was able to dislodge the animal, throw it into the trunk and drive to a Prescott hospital. The Yavapai County Sheriff's Office said the fox, which later attacked an animal control officer, tested positive for rabies.

The unidentified Chino Valley resident told deputies she was on a trail Monday at the base of Granite Mountain when the fox attacked, biting her foot. The woman said she grabbed it by the neck when it went for her leg and it latched onto her arm.

Thinking the fox was rabid, she wanted to make sure it didn't get away so she ran to her car, where she was able to pry open its jaws, wrap it in a sweat shirt and toss it into the trunk.

The woman is receiving rabies vaccinations, as is the animal control officer.

A House Divided

First it was the Packers-Vikings rift between husband and wife. Earlier this fall it was the rift between father and son as Little Man decided that his new favorite team was the squad that employed his favorite quarterback – Brett Favre and the Jets. Well we have a new one. Apparently the classes at Sheridan Hills had a presidential election at their school Tuesday and while Ella went the way of Obama, Nicolas went with John McCain. I don’t believe any of the “issues” that the general voting population focused on were in play at Sheridan Hills. According to Nicolas the information was more centered upon the candidates’ place of birth and their favorite foods. Nicolas was swayed by McCain’s interest in apples and baseball, while Ella was sold on Obama’s commitment to tomatoes. Considering the myriad non-issues that voting adults in our country seem consumed by, I guess the considerations of a 7- and 5-year-old don’t seem too ridiculous.

Must See Thursday TV, er film

For those of you who are childless, or flush with babysitters, and of course live in the Twin Cities, the Wholphin Shorts (a series of unconventional film shorts) is playing at the St. Anthony Main Thursday (Oct. 30th). The show opened last week to some pretty great reviews. The best of the shorts was the 24-minute "Heavy Metal Jr." in which a group of 9-year-old Scottish lads crank out Ozzy and Iron Maiden. The piece de resistance is when the group performs "Satan Rocks" at a redneck county fairgrounds in front of a shocked audience. Enjoy. Here's the link www.soundunseen.com/2008/movies/wholphin-shorts/