The Gophers go meekly down their hole

After starting the season with a 7-1 record, the rest of the Big 10 Conference caught up with the University of Minnesota and the Gophers were summarily dismissed in their final four games of the season to finish at 7-5. I, unfortunately, was on hand for all four of those beat-downs, including last Saturday's inexplicable 55-0 loss to Iowa.

The stakes were there for the Goofs: The last game of the year. A trophy game. A border rival. A chance to rebound from a disappointing loss to Wisconsin. All this and the lads didn't show up. The defense, which certainly wasn't good, held up at least early. It was the offense that was horrible down the stretch for the second year in a row. I understand that the loss of Eric Decker due to a myriad of injuries (shoulder, ribs and ankle) played a significant part in their ineptitude, there is no way that this team should have struggled the way that they did. Like the Michigan game, this team had less than three first downs at halftime. That's embarrassing. Weber regressed for the second straight season and there has to be major questions about his ability to lead a team to the first division of a now-mediocre conference. Coach Tim Brewster admitted that his team needs to do more weight training before next season in order to compete along the lines, but why wasn't that apparent before the season. Did weight lifting just recently become popular?

Defensively, they need better athletes at linebacker. Lee Campbell and Deon Hightower were decent players early in the season but when other teams had the tape on them, and saw what they could do to the Gophers' defense when they got those players in space -- they were done with. The d-backs were certainly an improvement from last year, but in this conference the games are won up-front. That needs to be addressed.

Saturday's game against the Hawks was over by halftime and we took our leave to head to a local watering hole where several Jameson drinks took off the edge. Apparently it didn't to a number of Hawkeye fans who were up for the weekend. Apparently everyone in Iowa comes from a wrestling background because my diminutive friend (5-6, 150 pounds) was challenged a couple of fights. Meanwhile back at the Metrodome, things were even crazier.

According to the Star-Tribune, a pair of drunk Hawkeye fans were arrested for having sexual relations in one of the handicapped stalls of the Dome (what's the deal with lavatory sex in the Twin Cities). According to the story, there was a crowd of cheering fans encouraging the behavior from outside the stall. Police came and arrested the couple and -- get this -- released the man to his girlfriend and the woman to her husband. How do you suppose that car drive home went?

Tough Chick

Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked on her arm
Nov 5 03:27 PM US/Eastern


PRESCOTT, Ariz. (AP) - With a fox locked onto her arm, an Arizona jogger ran a mile to her car, where she was able to dislodge the animal, throw it into the trunk and drive to a Prescott hospital. The Yavapai County Sheriff's Office said the fox, which later attacked an animal control officer, tested positive for rabies.

The unidentified Chino Valley resident told deputies she was on a trail Monday at the base of Granite Mountain when the fox attacked, biting her foot. The woman said she grabbed it by the neck when it went for her leg and it latched onto her arm.

Thinking the fox was rabid, she wanted to make sure it didn't get away so she ran to her car, where she was able to pry open its jaws, wrap it in a sweat shirt and toss it into the trunk.

The woman is receiving rabies vaccinations, as is the animal control officer.

A House Divided

First it was the Packers-Vikings rift between husband and wife. Earlier this fall it was the rift between father and son as Little Man decided that his new favorite team was the squad that employed his favorite quarterback – Brett Favre and the Jets. Well we have a new one. Apparently the classes at Sheridan Hills had a presidential election at their school Tuesday and while Ella went the way of Obama, Nicolas went with John McCain. I don’t believe any of the “issues” that the general voting population focused on were in play at Sheridan Hills. According to Nicolas the information was more centered upon the candidates’ place of birth and their favorite foods. Nicolas was swayed by McCain’s interest in apples and baseball, while Ella was sold on Obama’s commitment to tomatoes. Considering the myriad non-issues that voting adults in our country seem consumed by, I guess the considerations of a 7- and 5-year-old don’t seem too ridiculous.