The shocker in the Minnesota bu-caucus

Double entendres aside, yesterday’s Super Tuesday was a
massive event in which the public turnout dwarfed all expectations. For the
record the black dude beat cankles to take the Democrat race and the Stormin Mormon topped Hanoi Hilton in the Republican race that amounted to little more than a beauty contest.

The flip side of the question, “What if someone held an election and no one came?” is “What if someone held a caucus and too many people came?” That was the reality of the caucuses throughout our frozen state last night. Masses of people braved the weather to fit into various elementary schools and churches to voice their opinions. In the caucus situation, their voices are often unheard as a result of political party stalwarts dominating the action. It was probably disappointing for those wonks to see the turnouts of people who normally don’t attend these functions as their control and domination of topics and tenor isn’t as clear. In my local caucus, I sweated through a 40-minute line to finally arrive at the front of the line and find
out that there were no more ballots available. Good thing I brought a notebook to fill out my national and local candidates. Once there the topics that people were trying to get on the ballot were guaranteed pension funds for school teachers and the rights of undocumented immigrants.

I encourage anyone who has never attended one of these caucuses to take in the spectacle if they can pull themselves away from the Hungry Man dinners and reruns of CSI. Like I said before, the caucuses are set up to be run by the zealots who feel their importance towers over the unwashed masses that have other interests outside of politics. I didn’t win too many friends in the zealot community when I had the temerity to question the appropriateness of guaranteed pensions considering they're going away in the private sector. I suggested that much more far-reaching changes were needed – particularly in secondary education – and the steps and ladder method of paying teachers was too much of an obstacle for younger teachers just entering the field. A 30K job with student loans and a car payment doesn’t allow much to set aside in the 401K, and I made that abundantly clear. The pay issue for newbies is an impediment to people who might start a secondary career in teaching after spending much of their lives in the private sector. A few hisses and furrowed eyebrows emerged from my comments.

What I love/hate about the election cycle is the inability of candidates to be honest with people. In order to get elected, candidates are everything to everyone. Even when not in candidacy mode, our elected officials can’t turn off the bliss faucet. Except for those people who have had family members sent to Afghanistan or Iraq, has anyone really faced any sort of sacrifice for the “conflict” that we’ve been involved with for six years. At least in previous war periods we’ve had to collectively tighten our belts. Not so much this time.

Which brings me to this idea: This country is up for some pretty harsh comeuppance. We’ve grown fat and lazy and have no idea how hard the scrubs in India and China are working to kick our ass. Read Tom Friedman’s “The World is Flat” to understand how the developing world is chomping at the bit to get at our bloated carcass. Between the people who insist that it’s government’s job to keep us financially secure and make sure that my idiot kid goes through 13 years of school and gets a degree without the ability to read critically or write coherently, and the waterheads in their McMansions who plan on dying with their greenbacks sown into their shorts, I think we’re in the deep stuff. Here’s an analogy for what it’s worth. A state rep in Louisiana was working on a bill that would fine restaurants for serving obese people (by serving I don’t mean that they are the main dish). Of course the bill won’t make it out of committee and it’s a clear violation of rights, but the point that we’re entitled to unrestricted gluttony is obvious. On Sunday I went to the Gopher/Wisconsin basketball game at Williams Arena. The venue is one of those old, dated places with wooden bench bleachers – no seats. When my friend and I arrived after spending a couple minutes too long in the local watering hole, the bench was completely taken up by butts. My seats 13-14 were taken by the people in 15-16 and respectively down the line. After about five minutes of looking annoyed I finally announced to the group, “Listen, you got 15 inches of ass room on this bench and if you need to take more, then buy another ticket. Now sit on your numbers and move the hell down.” There were more than a few evil stares – of course this is Minnesota and no one would actually confront me – before a great shuffling ensued and the tubby lady on the end put the pop and the popcorn down by her feet so we could sit.

I’m not bigoted to heavy people and understand the issues that they face every day, but it points to something larger. Our bloated, single-issue voting, entitled, what’s-in-it-for-me population is going to face some tough belt-tightening choices in the next couple years regardless of who’s elected.

Oh yeah, and the Gophers got their asses handed to them by the Badgers.